Married at 22

In a Mormon world 22 is the average age to get married. Not too young, not too old.

In a non-Mormon world, Andrew and I basically threw our whole lives out the window. Ha. 

That maybe true for those who believe it, but for us, who are now married for 7 months, love being married in the most literal way possible regardless of all the struggles we've been through.

Marriage is hard.

There I said it. 

But despite it being hard, I still think our love story is one for the books. Andrew treats me the very best without a doubt. He snuggles with me before we go to bed and snuggle and gigil/kiss me when we wake up. We cook dinner together, wash the dishes together while we make fun of each other and laugh, and make the bed together in the morning. He's very patient with me and all my emotional roller coaster. When I'm too tired to clean the house he lets me rest while he does the cleaning. Vice versa when I know he gets really busy with school. He takes really good care of me. We never have to argue about who's doing what chores. I never have to nag him about anything. Never. But we fight. We cry. We laugh. But most of all we love more. 

Everyone thinks we never fight because we look happy all the time. Well, we fight just as much as other couples do. We don't pretend our life is better than other people by posting happy pictures all the time. We post happy pictures because we ARE happy(despite all our problems.) We dislike posting negative things on social media because we think there is no point in broadcasting our problems. It's not everyone else's business. It's ours and It's normal. We love spreading good energy and good energy ONLY. We're not Debby Downers. We just love life and that's how we will always be.

3 important things(out of a billion) I learned from being married:

ALWAYS FORGIVE. Always. Always. Always. Now this comes very easy for Andrew. Unfortunately, it comes really hard for me. Andrew and I never say "It's okay" after the other person says sorry. It has become a very important gesture for us to always respond with an "I forgive you" phrase. Saying it's okay gives us the idea that it's okay to do it again. It's never okay to do it again. Not in our house. Causing pain to the person you love most is never okay. When we forgive the other person and mean it when we say it there is a feeling of a weight being lifted that makes us feel relieved. No matter how much your spouse tells you they will never break your heart, best believe they will. Because that's what happens when you love someone. Little fights will break your heart. Even the silliest of reasons will break your heart. Our little fights has broken my heart over and over again, hence there is a NEED to forgive over and over again. 

"You win if you let it go." Andrew has taught me how easy it is to forgive. The more I forgive the more I gain so much love for my husband. 

ALWAYS BE KIND. Andrew is the best example of being kind. Every good thing about our marriage doesnt come from me. It comes from him. He speaks kind words. He communicates to me how he feels very well more than I communicate how I feel. I never have to feel like I'm putting myself out there to eventually be rejected. He's very open. He listens to me. He doesn't raise his voice. He makes me feel safe to say whatever I feel and he doesnt judge me. He's very well mannered and polite. He asks me how he's hurt me and tells me he will never do it again. He's very honest and very sweet. Now me on the other hand, as complicated of a woman as I'll ever be, seems to me that my PMS comes every day, not every month. My poor husband. Good thing I'm better at being kind now than I was before. I promise I'm not that much of a horrible wife. You can ask Andrew. I'm nice, 
too. Haha. In all seriousness, I've really really learned that being kind is more important than being right. 

LOVE MORE. Now this comes easy for both of us. We've done long distance 3 times in the past 3 years of our relationship. I would take all the struggles married life has to offer over being apart ANY DAY! This is not a brag post but I just have to say that Andrew and I have mostly if not at all mastered the art of INTENTIONALLY LOVING each other. What that means to us is to really consciously make sure we not only express our love by saying I love you but also by consciously making an effort to make time for each other, to always kiss before we go to bed, to always hug, and to actually really feel love towards the other person and appreciate the little things they do. To really feel bad when we have done something wrong. To really mean an apology. To really love the other person more than life itself. To really sacrifice. We do not take each other for granted. We have never forgotten that we love each other because we are literally consciously too busy loving each other. It's so easy to overlook the importance of your relationship when you're too busy with life. But Andrew is my life and so it has been easy for me to always realize how important he is to me. I think this realization came from being apart alot. Just a little back story. Andrew went to serve a mission in the Colorado Springs, Colorado Mission. Our only means of communication was through snail mail. We wrote letters every week. Even after he got home from his mission we were still long distance. It was pretty hard not to have him with me while making a realtionship work. I've been through it all and it's pretty darn hard. I always promised myself that if the day comes that I get to be with him without having to cry my eyes out at the airport each time we say goodbye that I will always make sure I give him all my lovin. That I will not let a day go by without making sure he feels loved. And that has been true ever since. Everytime I catch myself looking at him I just take a moment or two to just admire this perfect human I have been blessed with. He stares back at me and he smiles because he knows just how I feel without even saying anything. I thought I loved him before... and then we got married. I know now that I can never say I love him more today because I would be lying tomorrow. It gives me so much joy to know that I will get to love him even more every day more than today. To love more also means to love more than you fight. Misunderstandings are inevitable but we always make sure we love each other more. Last but not least, to love more means to love the other person more whether they deserve it or not. You married them. It's gotta mean something. There will be times when they just can't do life. They can't function and focus. Sometimes as human as we are it's hard to even understand what we want to do with our life. Sometimes I am not even worthy of Andrew's forgiveness nor I am worthy of his love but he loves me in my worst just as much as he loves me at my best, if not more. Having that kind of love makes me just want to be better every day so that I can deserve his love more than I deserve it now. I've been blessed with the most pure love anyone could ever imagine. Being sealed in the temple has been one of the greatest, unfathomable attainment I've ever gained in this life and the next to come- and that is even an understatement. 

Life is good, guys. Life is good.