How To Deal With A Heartbreak

Here is a question that is commonly asked: How do I deal with a heartbreak?

Here is an example of a situation.

You have broken up with the person you love. After two months of space you decided you wanted her back. You go out and eat at a restaurant and you are so sure you are going to get her back, only to find out she is already engaged to someone else. Now you are torn into pieces. The amount of pain is extremely over the top. Your life stops because you just possibly can't go on without the woman of your dreams.

First of all, let me just say this. IT IS OKAY TO FEEL PAIN. That means you are a normal human being with normal feelings. Don't deny it. Learn to be friends with your own sorrow. Break ups are good. Eventually, you will find out that they are good. It's not the end of the world yet.

Over the years of dealing with my own heartbreaks, I have learned this.

There are two kinds of people who deal with a heartbreak. 

The first person is the one who just stops his life from moving forward because he can't continue without his soulmate. He says his life is meaningless because she's THE ONLY one for him and can't go on now that she's with somebody else. This type of person is not the person YOU wanna be. You will be miserable if you do. It will give you the tendency to close your heart to anyone, making it even harder for you to be happier. Instead of actually dealing with your heartbreak, you are just adding another heartbreak to your heartbreak. 

You wanna be the second type of person who deals with a heartbreak.

The second person is the one who says, "You know, I am really hurt and disappointed that I thought she was my soulmate, but turned out not to be. But that's okay because now I can move on and find somebody who can be." 

Now that is the right kind of pain to deal with. You admit that you are hurt, but you also admit that you must NEVER stay hurt. 

Let's talk about soulmates for a moment.

I never believed in soulmates, but I also believe in soulmates. 

An article I read a few days ago described exactly what I have been meaning to describe soulmates as all these years, but never found the right words to say. This article took the very words I have always wanted to express the idea on, and it says,

"Soulmates are made, not born." 

If you break that down, what that really means is that what makes a relationship amazing is "more of a commitment than perfection." You choose your soulmate. Andrew is my soulmate because I chose to be committed to him. Yes, we met at an unexpected place at an unexpected time, yet we also believed we were meant to meet at that exact moment. But were we meant to be something else after we met had we not put in effort to it? Were we meant to be where we are now had we not sacrificed and waited to be where we are now?

My point is, we all meet people every day and we may feel a connection with them, but if we don't do anything about it, we might have just missed our soulmates.

Next time you find yourself in the middle of a heartbreak, be the second person. Don't deny it. Feel it, be okay with it, and if she's not the soulmate she turned out to be, then you know someone else can be. 

A heartbreak sounds really painful, but trust me it won't be that bad after all. Somewhere between hurting and moving on, you will have that moment where your brain just clicks and you tell yourself that it had to happen because you're actually better off now. It always does.

Good news is, you can love again. And the next time you do, you will love and be loved even more. :)